Eleven Years
Almost eleven years has passed since my last post. My, how so much has changed in such a seemingly short period of time.
2009 - God led me to a job at Hellier, after wondering from Dallas, Florida and back. Bought my Honda Fit.
2010 - Met the love of my life, Debbie Abrahamson.
2011 - Engaged and Married the love of my life, now Debbie Potter.
2012 - One Bedroom apartment at Legacy Park Drive. I uncovered a 15 year addiction which was very hard on my marriage. We committed to each other and pressed forward. We attended Lakewood for 8 wonderful months.
2013 - Long road to recovery, begin my life of Freedom. Phinneas becomes part of our family.
2014 - Summit Church Young Adults. Moving from apartment to apartment to Mom's House.
2015 - Move to Jacksonville, FL. Start job with St. John's Country Day School.
2016 - Buy our first house, 6383 Lake Plantation Drive, Jacksonville Fl.
2017 - Become Technology Manager at SJCDS (really, Director of Technology).
2018 - Move to Quincy Florida. Hurricane Michael. Sell Jacksonville House. Buy Lake Tallavana House. Director of Technology and Advancement at Robert F. Munroe Day School.
Now to 2019.
Up until now, life had been full of adventure. Now that I look back, every year had a substantial life change, it's tiring just to look at it. But God gave us the strength and guidance to make it through.
This year was a tough start. After we rang in the new year, my dad was able to break free of work and drive down from Tulsa to see us. January 10, he was involved in a critical accident. He made it to the emergency room and we were able to see him after some life saving surgeries. We spoke briefly and then we went home preparing for what we thought was a long road to recovery. January 11, he succumbed to his injuries and left to be with the Lord. Losing a parent is such a unique experience. The grief is inexplicable and comes from a place I cannot explain. I've spent many weeks reliving the old days. I've spent just as much time mourning the future we would no longer have on this earth. I'm sad that his unborn grandchildren will not meet him. I'm sad that I won't get to enjoy his strange, Arkansas humor. I'm sad that I won't be able to hear him joke with my mom and make her laugh like no one can. Five months later, I'm able to accept his death and move forward knowing that he's in a better place. His staying here would only
It just occurred to me I haven't written down the story any where, so perhaps I should do it here as a record for me to remember:
Early January, Dad and I had planned for him to visit our new house in Havana and to see the family. We haven't spoken for almost a year and I had the feeling he wanted to catch up on things. January 8th, he told me he was going home and start down the following day. January 10, he left Memphis and started his route down through Mississippi and then to our house. We texted and spoke a few times. The last time he called, he was an hour away and would be here at 9pm. 9pm came and when he didn't show, I immediately felt in my spirit something was wrong. I even said it out loud to my wife and mom. I called and it would just ring and go to voicemail. He had signal and was getting calls. I called a few more times with no success.
Around 11:00pm, Debbie gets a call from an unidentified Georgia number through her iPad. A strange occurrence. She showed it to me and I told her to answer it, I bet it had something to do with Dad. Sure enough, it was a state trooper asking if she know a Jeremy Potter. She put me on the phone and the trooper confirmed that dad was in an accident and he was being transported to Grady Hospital in Thomasville. He was in critical condition although he survived. We jumped in the car and made the 45 minute drive to the hospital. We waited in the ER for about 2 hours before the surgeon came out. There was a long list of issues, the major one being his spleen that had to be removed. The doctor noticed that his heart and liver were in poor condition and said it wasn't going to be a long road for his recovery. A few moments later, he was moved into a room and we got to visit him. He was in and out of consciousness and heavily sedated. He was able to recognize us and we walked over to him and said a few words. We sat on a couch in the room for about 30 minutes and watched him sleep. After assurances he was stable, we decided to drive home that night and return to the hospital another day. We exchanged "I love yous" before we left.
Mom left to go to the hospital the next day. She didn't want the nurses or doctors to "take advantage of him", lol, but we decided to hang back and give dad some recovery time. Mom said she played some Acappella worship music for him that seemed to put him at ease. In the afternoon, mom called frantic saying that Dad woke up abruptly, tried to pull the tubes off him and said "I need to get out of here." Soon after, he began to flatline. Nurses rushed in, asked mom to leave and began resuscitation. The doctor soon came in while were on a call and said he's no longer stable. His heart beat would return temporarily and then cease, even while we were speaking. He asked the tough question, "Do you want us to keep resuscitation?" For the first time, I felt like someone's life was in my hands and I didn't know what to do. I asked his opinion and it was as if his answer was God's voice speaking to me. He said that if it were his Dad, he would take it as God's will and let him go home. With Debbie by my side and Mom's agreement over the phone, that is what we decided to do. Immediately, I was stricken with an immense grief and I couldn't speak. My Dad's life, on this earth, was finally over.
I took a week off week to process everything going on and to put Dad's final affairs in order. Thankfully, his car insurance covered the funeral expenses and paid some of the medical bills. Unfortunately, the insurance policy he carried for over 30 years lapsed just a couple months before he died so Mom didn't get to see that money. We decided to have the funeral in Tulsa since that was closest to most of his family and friends. Dad had just enough money in his account to pay our way there so it was a nice trip on him. I knew that would make him happy. The funeral was better than I could have hoped. Dad kept his life pretty private from me, so I wasn't sure who would actually be at the funeral, if any one. To my immense comfort, it was a full room. Many of the people were from his life-long church, The Journey (formerly Garnett Road Church of Christ), but there were people from all points in his life, including Bob Swaggert who introduced my grandparents to church and ultimately Christ. His interaction in my family's life sowed seeds for generations. Other life-long friends were there - The Jones, Fords, etc. And of course, family.
Funerals often remind us to remember the past, appreciate the present and anticipate the future. I'm reminded how invigorating the last 11 years writing this post. It's easy to short-sight the past and believe it was wasted if not carefully remembered. Thank you Lord for this adventure you've carried us through!
2009 - God led me to a job at Hellier, after wondering from Dallas, Florida and back. Bought my Honda Fit.
2010 - Met the love of my life, Debbie Abrahamson.
2011 - Engaged and Married the love of my life, now Debbie Potter.
2012 - One Bedroom apartment at Legacy Park Drive. I uncovered a 15 year addiction which was very hard on my marriage. We committed to each other and pressed forward. We attended Lakewood for 8 wonderful months.
2013 - Long road to recovery, begin my life of Freedom. Phinneas becomes part of our family.
2014 - Summit Church Young Adults. Moving from apartment to apartment to Mom's House.
2015 - Move to Jacksonville, FL. Start job with St. John's Country Day School.
2016 - Buy our first house, 6383 Lake Plantation Drive, Jacksonville Fl.
2017 - Become Technology Manager at SJCDS (really, Director of Technology).
2018 - Move to Quincy Florida. Hurricane Michael. Sell Jacksonville House. Buy Lake Tallavana House. Director of Technology and Advancement at Robert F. Munroe Day School.
Now to 2019.
Up until now, life had been full of adventure. Now that I look back, every year had a substantial life change, it's tiring just to look at it. But God gave us the strength and guidance to make it through.
This year was a tough start. After we rang in the new year, my dad was able to break free of work and drive down from Tulsa to see us. January 10, he was involved in a critical accident. He made it to the emergency room and we were able to see him after some life saving surgeries. We spoke briefly and then we went home preparing for what we thought was a long road to recovery. January 11, he succumbed to his injuries and left to be with the Lord. Losing a parent is such a unique experience. The grief is inexplicable and comes from a place I cannot explain. I've spent many weeks reliving the old days. I've spent just as much time mourning the future we would no longer have on this earth. I'm sad that his unborn grandchildren will not meet him. I'm sad that I won't get to enjoy his strange, Arkansas humor. I'm sad that I won't be able to hear him joke with my mom and make her laugh like no one can. Five months later, I'm able to accept his death and move forward knowing that he's in a better place. His staying here would only
It just occurred to me I haven't written down the story any where, so perhaps I should do it here as a record for me to remember:
Early January, Dad and I had planned for him to visit our new house in Havana and to see the family. We haven't spoken for almost a year and I had the feeling he wanted to catch up on things. January 8th, he told me he was going home and start down the following day. January 10, he left Memphis and started his route down through Mississippi and then to our house. We texted and spoke a few times. The last time he called, he was an hour away and would be here at 9pm. 9pm came and when he didn't show, I immediately felt in my spirit something was wrong. I even said it out loud to my wife and mom. I called and it would just ring and go to voicemail. He had signal and was getting calls. I called a few more times with no success.
Around 11:00pm, Debbie gets a call from an unidentified Georgia number through her iPad. A strange occurrence. She showed it to me and I told her to answer it, I bet it had something to do with Dad. Sure enough, it was a state trooper asking if she know a Jeremy Potter. She put me on the phone and the trooper confirmed that dad was in an accident and he was being transported to Grady Hospital in Thomasville. He was in critical condition although he survived. We jumped in the car and made the 45 minute drive to the hospital. We waited in the ER for about 2 hours before the surgeon came out. There was a long list of issues, the major one being his spleen that had to be removed. The doctor noticed that his heart and liver were in poor condition and said it wasn't going to be a long road for his recovery. A few moments later, he was moved into a room and we got to visit him. He was in and out of consciousness and heavily sedated. He was able to recognize us and we walked over to him and said a few words. We sat on a couch in the room for about 30 minutes and watched him sleep. After assurances he was stable, we decided to drive home that night and return to the hospital another day. We exchanged "I love yous" before we left.
Mom left to go to the hospital the next day. She didn't want the nurses or doctors to "take advantage of him", lol, but we decided to hang back and give dad some recovery time. Mom said she played some Acappella worship music for him that seemed to put him at ease. In the afternoon, mom called frantic saying that Dad woke up abruptly, tried to pull the tubes off him and said "I need to get out of here." Soon after, he began to flatline. Nurses rushed in, asked mom to leave and began resuscitation. The doctor soon came in while were on a call and said he's no longer stable. His heart beat would return temporarily and then cease, even while we were speaking. He asked the tough question, "Do you want us to keep resuscitation?" For the first time, I felt like someone's life was in my hands and I didn't know what to do. I asked his opinion and it was as if his answer was God's voice speaking to me. He said that if it were his Dad, he would take it as God's will and let him go home. With Debbie by my side and Mom's agreement over the phone, that is what we decided to do. Immediately, I was stricken with an immense grief and I couldn't speak. My Dad's life, on this earth, was finally over.
I took a week off week to process everything going on and to put Dad's final affairs in order. Thankfully, his car insurance covered the funeral expenses and paid some of the medical bills. Unfortunately, the insurance policy he carried for over 30 years lapsed just a couple months before he died so Mom didn't get to see that money. We decided to have the funeral in Tulsa since that was closest to most of his family and friends. Dad had just enough money in his account to pay our way there so it was a nice trip on him. I knew that would make him happy. The funeral was better than I could have hoped. Dad kept his life pretty private from me, so I wasn't sure who would actually be at the funeral, if any one. To my immense comfort, it was a full room. Many of the people were from his life-long church, The Journey (formerly Garnett Road Church of Christ), but there were people from all points in his life, including Bob Swaggert who introduced my grandparents to church and ultimately Christ. His interaction in my family's life sowed seeds for generations. Other life-long friends were there - The Jones, Fords, etc. And of course, family.
Funerals often remind us to remember the past, appreciate the present and anticipate the future. I'm reminded how invigorating the last 11 years writing this post. It's easy to short-sight the past and believe it was wasted if not carefully remembered. Thank you Lord for this adventure you've carried us through!
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